Changing. Everything keeps changing. Sometimes it’s hard to grasp a hold of it all but it’s okay. I realize everything comes down the the truth and the strength in yourself. Sometimes it’s hard to do that. I know, i’ve doubted myself. I’ve been scared. I’ve been hurt. I’ve been broken. I’ve been destroyed. It only makes me stronger. Cliche as it sounds, it has. 2009 and 2010 have been two life chaning years. I hate this touchy subject but it has to come up and i have to talk about it somewhere because if i don’t i think i just might become bitter. I know you guys know my parents got a divorce in 2009, i’ve written past blogs but you know what learning that they aren’t going to be together isn’t the biggest struggle. The struggle, watching them hate each other. It’s like when one of them is doing good the other is doing bad and then it switches.
I don’t understand love or anything about it. It makes me crazy. How can i watch these two people who loved each other and now they completely can’t stand one another? For some reason though, it makes me want someone to be by my side. I’m young, but i don’t think i’ll fall in the path of my parents. I’m scared i will. But i won’t. To be honest i haven’t had a real boyfriend. All my relationships were only a couple months. I’ve been alone, i don’t mind. I’ve got myself and that’s all i really need in the world to be at peace with myself. My body, spirit, and mind. Nothing else really matters.
Change in schools got my minds in big blob. I love it here. But i still have to adjust being away from my family. I’ve got my best friend and her boyfriend. They’re pretty much my family here. And it’s getting harder to see my family. My dad’s moving to Daly City. I’m here in Angwin. My mom is in Fairfield. My sister in Fremont. My grandma in Oakland. We’re all seperated. And we were all once living under the same roof but now we’re all distant. I miss my grandma the most. She’s a strong independent woman who i really look up too. I hope she appreciates the fact that my first tattoo will be for her. Roses her favorite flower and her chinese name written beside it.
All right, advice…..Change happens. Let it happen. But be true to yourself. Don’t let life knock you down. If it does, pick yourself up and realize the good things. The positive things in life that give you something to look forward too. Goodnight and god bless.
